"Who ever heard of a suitcase full of money in West Virginia?  There ain't no union anymore to get dues from."
       employee at Massey Coal

"I'd let Opal check my groceries any day!"
       coal truck driver in Louisa, Kentucky

 "That Josephine.  Lord!  I wouldn't touch her with a tire jack."
       mechanic at RentAWreck, Ashland, Kentucky

 
  "Nobody turns blue, not like they was painted on, anyway, or gray, either."
       doctor's assistant in Williamson, West Virginia

"These plays are farce raised to the level of self-awareness."
       dramaturge, Abingdon, Virginia

"If that woman got any whiter she wouldnąt have eyes or lips or nothing."
       beautician in Crum, West Virginia

 "That old woman's house looks like a freak show tent."
       housepainter in Whitesburg, Kentucky

"Damn poetry.  I didnąt understand a word of it."
       communications major, Marshall Academy

"Whoa!  A couple of good-looking ghosts."
       undertaker at Madison, West Virginia

"Who ever heard of somebody being jealous of a bunch of hillbillies."
       bartender at the Coal Mine Inn

"That Elsie Meade's got the worst case of welfare-itis I ever laid eyes on."
       clerk at the Catlettsburg, Kentucky, courthouse

 "If I watched that much CNN I'd be bawling and snotting, too."
       cashier at Big Lots, Wayne, West Virginia

"Nowadays satellite dishes ainąt much bigger than a gravy bowl."
       homeowner of a double-wide in Flatwoods, Kentucky

"Mountain people laugh out of necessity."
       sociologist at West Virginia College

"Iąd like to write for the National Inquirer."
       newsman for the Weekly Independent, Coal Grove, Ohio